Portlanding: All Hallows Suck

It just started to rain on my 2nd trick-or-treater ever. This sucks. I was invited to go trick-or-treating with my friends, the "baby girls" from Portland's kink community (I'm not that kinky, I just like them). But I fundamentally object to adult trick-or-treaters, so I laid in candy then decorated with the Halloween decorations I weeded out as keepers come such time as I move to a shoe box apartment in LA. Now it's started to pour on the tiny skeleton at my door. It was nice all day and suddenly MONSOON. The Portland gods have no respect for Halloween. They're laughing it up at McMenamins.

Patty, Dolly, rain

The rain stops and Andrew, the only man I've dated in Portland with a job, comes over with his teenage niece who's visiting from Mexico. Andrew's not Mexican. Andrew drives nights for the gas company and the hours of Libertarian radio formed him into someone I can't date, more surely than his Aspergers. I though Aspergers was a myth on the Autism spectrum till I met him. He's emotionally and socially well meaning, but clueless. He asks bartenders, "Has there been a major game today I should know about?" and when he tells the pizza place, "you pick" his order, he means it.

All the cute little trick-or-treaters have definitely been rained out. We get hordes of 10 to 15 year old zombies at the door, though, for the next 2 hours. Andrew barks to even the few 8 year olds, "Who is it?", when they come to the door. Ana and I convince him he's scaring them. Ana is telling them, "Have a good day", which is better.

Andrew's told me he and his niece "eat healthy", a standard Portland claim, and they wouldn't want candy. Ana is eating it by the fistfuls. They have just come back from a hike to the top of Mt. Wherever, and she's exhausted from the wear to her cute jeans and needs energy. Andrew asks a trick-or-treater, "What are you!?". A little girl tells him she's a zombie ballerina. He says "Good job!".

Isabel is dressed in a bee costume she apparently doesn't like. Spike is a vampire bat in bat wings and a bow tie. Spikey's trachea collapse cough is skyrocketing from involuntary excitement. When he was a younger dog he would just have bitten everyone.