I was messy and I didn't drive. But I was messy and didn't drive the 5 years we were together, before he went down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I remember thinking we should have invited the USC dental student who did my root canal (over the course of several days, the pain medicine would wear off before he was done each time), because he (and my lack of insurance) perhaps motivated Leif to pop the question.
Anyway, then we were together and I was messy and didn't drive for another 3 years and he said it broke him. But didn't me adoring him count for something? I thought he knew that was a valuable contribution.
And does this relate to Portland? Yes, in fact. I don't think I'm men's type here (starchy granola), or that they're mine. I look oddly young for my age, but I am aging. My apartment is pretty and paid for, so should I stay and grow old here? I can handle the rain maybe, but not the beards. A picture in Craigslist, of a man trying to meet women, would be the picture of a man trying to get into a homeless shelter in LA.
 |
| I can guess why. |
Many moons ago when my friend Stephen emailed me his picture through Craigslist, before we determined we knew each other from childhood across the country, he made the effort to shave and stand by somebody's car that was nicer than his. I appreciate that now.
I married for the time honored reason of children. And then after the first six months or so, I never had anything all that glowing to say about marriage. I wondered why gay people would bother, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't again. But then suddenly my husband died, and all the crap that annoyed me about him was crap that I missed with all my heart. And all that shit we fought about? He was right. Or at least it wasn't worth fighting about. And I hope that it wasn't just laziness, but some nascent wisdom that kept me married. On the other hand, I don't think divorce is such a bad thing. It certainly opens up huge opportunities to grow. I love your writing and your dogs, and your raw funny honesty. But I think you are dead wrong on beards.
ReplyDeleteHave you committed before God or those assembled there to a beard? Thank you for your comment by the way. It's hugely appreciated and makes my pissing off people feel more worth it.
DeleteI don't like beards either. My boyfriend grew one a while ago. If he asked, most women told him it was not flattering... but it stayed, for a while. Beards fill with snot and food, who wants to kiss that ? The young guys who have them in an attempt to look like a greasy, early-80s hillbilly will realize how icky they looked in 30 years... when looking icky isn't so much an option anymore.
ReplyDeleteAfter having a front row seat for two parents who fought bitterly for ten years over their divorce... I don't think there's any way I can see anything positive about marriage (besides shared insurance.) I suppose marriage would be handy if you have kids... as a backup, to legally force on parent to do their part, if things get bad... but if you need to set that up in the first place.....
My parents were married 4 times each (only once to eachother). Ad a child I expected to be married and divorced but I'd forgotten or thought I'd escaped it.
DeleteI made the choice to be married and and the commitment was inherent, not unlike when I adopt a dog. I don't know who was harder, Leif or Spike.
My mom always told my dad, "No shavey, no kissy." He only grew a rugged beard when backpacking, and shaved as soon as he got home. I agree with your statements about the ridiculousness of ironic beards. Ew, sick. Unfortunately, my husband has sensitive skin, and can't handle a really close shave, but he generally never goes beyond scruffy, so I deal with it.
ReplyDeleteIf you can still see the outline of his face, it's not so bad.
Deletemake that three for disliking beards
ReplyDeletebtw: the pup looks good and content. I like his hair doo
Thank you! The pup, by contrast, could use more hair!
Delete