Reaching out.

I've been here 1 week and I only have 1 friend, a neighbor, and she's my exact age and from California. No one distinguishes Northern and Southern California here, though they're vastly different (Northern California = people who think, Southern California = people who want to look good), both are an anathema. Something about buying the land out from under the Portlanders. And it's true. My stepfather was born here and my mother's lived here long enough to fit in, but they paid a few thousand over the asking price to buy a condo for their daughter from California, and her dog, and her vast collection of antique dolls and 80's robots. The dog, Isabel, is pulling her weight (4 lbs) by leading to social interaction, but the dolls and robots are slacking.

Yes, I know in time I'd make friends. They'll develop naturally if I run into the people I get along with enough times. Then Psych 101 will take over and we'll form friendships based on repeat exposure. But I want efficiency friendship. I want a friend now! So I turn to Craigslist.

"Activities" (the section) is a bust. It reminds me that I don't like drinking beer and I'd probably get lost on a hike, definitely if phone reception on the trails was poor. I get lost in Home Depot and parking lots, but there I have the technology to be reunited with my companions and on a hike I might not.

So I go to personals: "strictly platonic". I am suspicious. My guess is that this section is full of pervs who won't admit they're perving or who get off on getting together and not getting off, and neither is what I want. I want a friend. As it turns out the people posting on "w4w" do too ("m4w" in "platonic" is exactly what I thought it would be). I see lots of 420 and "new to town" listings. I don't consider 420 an actual interest and socializing with another newcomer is the blind leading the blind.

There are the moms looking for other moms to arrange playdates. None are dog moms and Isabel needs friends too. I see an appealing ad for "aging hipster seeking buddy". It's warm and self deprecating but she's transgendered and I'll be overly fascinated. I see a "Christian Mom" which is not generally my thing, not being one or even having had one, but she says she likes dollhouses and warns that she eats meat. I can see how that would be fair and necessary warning here.

In LA with my vegan friend Michelle I never order anything more scandalous than cheese and I still have to hear about how the baby cows are deprived of their mothers, so yes, announcing one is a carnivore is as necessary as announcing one is a Republican (though no one seems to be that here). I write the Christian Mom (to be fair "Christian" was in the description, not the title). I tell her I love dollhouses and that no one I personally know does, just people I buy and sell from. She responds warmly and offers sympathy on my divorce. She says she was more broken up about her divorce than her former husband was and that's what hurt most. I can relate to that. She also adds that she has a lop eared bunny. She's a winner.

She suggests meeting for tea someplace I can count and go through the alphabet and walk to. I tell her enthusiastically, yes, this would be lovely. But I don't specify any times that are good for me and now I can't, because writing a stranger twice would be creepy.